Laura Mainella

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I'm Begging You to Fake it

Posted by on in Daily Randomness
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Dear potential suitors, lovers and boyfriends;


Nobody likes Down-in-the-Dumps Donny Do-Nothin'.

Maybe your job sucks, your ex is a crazy bitch, your neighbor hates you and you're sick of the weather. Maybe you think life is kind of shit for you right're broke, you can't make your mortgage payments, you're missing your dead parrot and nobody "understands you".

Here's the thing...if you plan to date me...for the love of God - PLEASE fake it up a notch. 


Ideally it would be perfect if you were actually happy, fulfilled, passionate, energetic and enthusiastic.  But if you can't be...if you really just can't authentically's time to start fuckin' faking it...because the girls dating you don't give a shit about your shit.  Well they might, but I certainly don't. It's pathetic, unattractive and a mojo killer. 


I don't want to be around your complaining, bitching and moaning or to constantly stroke your wounded ego. I want candy, sunshine, butterflies and rainbows...or at least some jokes and laughter. I don't want to be your escape or to have to "fix" you and I certainly don't need you pressuring me to "complete" you. 

Your list of woes can be as long as your arm...they can be as long as a football field. It doesn't account for a damn thing.  Nothing!  If you are not living the life you want to live, doing the things you really want to excuse is any compensation and brooding about it all is gonna do shit.

Look around, there are all kinds of people beating the odds.  There are people with no education, no family, no legs, no arms, no eyesight. These people are making money. They are positive. These people are achieving, being HAPPY and leading exciting lives. These successful people demonstrate everyday that results are the only things that matter.

You need some motivation? A purpose? Some passion?  Find it... because that shit is sexy. 


Here's a start...spend time with children.  They will teach you about laughter, spontaneity, acceptance, resilience, trust, determination and unconditional love. 


Life is not dull and it doesn't suck. 


There are only dull, sucky people who see their world though muddy tainted glasses.  It amazes me that some people see life and beauty everywhere they look, while others remain unmoved and unaffected.


Happiness is a decision. It's choice time everyday..every minute...every second. 


Oh...and won't cost you a cent ;)


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