Laura Mainella

Dynamic, Controversial, Opinionated

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Keeping it Real

Posted by on in Daily Randomness
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I've been writing this blog for some time now and every once in a while, I have someone say things like 'You are very brave' or 'How come you say all the things you say?' or 'You really don't care what people think, do you?'


Truthfully I don't care about what anybody says. But that doesn't make me brave. It's just how I'm wired. Some people clean up bed pans in hospitals and pick up body parts at a crime scene as a career. I think that is brave. Or noble, whatever. Also, I've had a lot of practice with the whole growing a thick skin thing. When you're hosting a major market morning radio show and broadcasting to over 400,000 people at any given time, you're gonna get people that just really don't care to listen to your opinion or hate your laugh or political view. But admittedly there was a time when I did care a little bit,  when it did matter what my friend's friend thought about me or my relationship. At one time it actually mattered that my listeners on the radio, and my family and friends thought that my life had worked out so wonderful, and that I was truly the epitome of pure happiness.


So you can imagine how stupid I felt when it didn't turn out the way I had planned and I had to kick my ex to the curb along with his engagement ring and a restraining order. And you probably get why it irks me so much when people put up the Oh-we-are-together-and-sooooo-in-luuurrrve pictures on Facebook. Don't get me wrong. I love love but I've developed a very sharp gut instinct that can tell the truly happy ones from the ones that are trying-hard-to-prove-that-everything-is-great. And it makes me sick in the pit of my stomach. Because it reminds me of me six years ago.

 

That's why it makes me want to roll my eyes when people get overtly guarded about their reputations. I mean, would it really be the worst thing in the world if we admitted to someone else that we weren't all that put together? Would it really kill us if we let our guards down for a few minutes and told a friend that we were feeling down or unhappy in our relationship? Would it be the end of us if we took a few minutes every now and then to admit to our insecurities or fears? I do it all the time and I find it liberating. And the funny thing is, every time I admit some deep, dark pain out loud, there is always someone who decides to connect with me (sometimes anonymously) and decides to tell me that he/she is in the same place too.


Some people think that putting yourself out there makes you vulnerable and someone will surely hurt you. I bought that for a very long time but believe me when I say that you'll get wrecked anyway! And wearing a mask will only make it worse because the problem with pretense is that, after a point, you can't tell where the fake-you ends and the real-you begins. And imagine two mask-wearers falling in love - it can be the most painful, confusing and emotionally debilitating situation in the world when these two start unraveling each other. I mean, all hell literally breaks loose. But all the while the two are putting up rosy lovey dovey status updates on their Facebook pages.


I'm a huge fan of good judgment, caution and prudence. I just think it's a colossal waste of time to exercise it in the hope of protecting your reputation and self image. The way I see it, there's no image. There's only real and fake. And if embracing what's real makes you vulnerable, then so be it! Because if you can get over yourself for one second and look around, you'll find that everyone's busy doing the same thing anyway - viciously protecting their image.

 

So do something out of the ordinary today. Admit to an insecurity out loud. Confess a dark secret you've never let out before. Tell your partner if you've been jealous or insecure for a while but your ego wouldn't let you admit it. Discuss your imperfections. Flaunt your scars. Be vulnerable. It makes you authentic. Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if the bible thumper on the third floor thinks you're a slut; if somebody on Facebook thinks you are the perfect couple; or your boyfriend's friends think you suck at tennis.  What matters honestly is what YOU think about you.

 

Be real and stay true to you.

xoxoxoxo

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For over 20 years, Laura Mainella has been the dyn...

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