Laura Mainella

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Please Forget the Shag

Posted by on in Daily Randomness
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So there it was in my Inbox...Robbie Smith had written to say, "Hey, do you remember six years ago?" 


Who the fuck is Robbie Smith? And what the hell happened in 2012?


After hours of ruminating I finally recalled the experience...I discernibly nicknamed the selfish, self interested lover as This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

Sometime ago I created an advanced elimination system in my head especially for the purpose of not reminding me of my bad sexual experiments. RS evidently made it through the filter successfully...well that was until the email.


RS is not the only one however. It is truly remarkable the number of men who've disappeared into the arms of girlfriends, wives or the night, who then re-emerge to remind me of what I'm missing.


There was the banker/poet/narcissist...he called up on a Wednesday morning out of the blue.


"Hi, remember we had sexy times at my apartment a few years ago?"


Never mind the apartment, what City was he talking about?


"Uhhh...can you give me a grid reference at least so I can guess?"


Anyway he said he remembered what a fantastic night we had and he asked if I had thought about it too.


Well I had to tell him the truth that no I did not...AT ALL! 


In an attempt to entice and seduce me, he said that if I wanted to I could come over that same night. Now there's an offer surely designed to put the self into self-esteem.


"Your girlfriend is away?"

Silence and hesitation then "Err...yes."


Back to RS. What sort of thought process takes place that allows you to contact a girl you saw once, maybe twice, after SIX YEARS and expect her to be overjoyed to hear from you?


Has he visualized a snapshot of me slamming the door in his face that cold winter morning back in 2012 and thought, "Wow, she looked pretty upset...maybe I should go back and make things better? I'm sure she's probably still fantasizing about me."


Fat chance buddy. Don't believe the exhausted adage that a woman never forgets.

We might not do it as quickly as a man...but once we do forget...we do it in spectacular fashion.


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