Laura Mainella

Dynamic, Controversial, Opinionated

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The Happy Ending

Posted by on in Daily Randomness
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b2ap3_thumbnail_2180576-8805-prince-and-princess-on-white-horse.jpg

 

Thanks so much Out-loud Thinker fans for all your emails and for being so incredibly loyal.

I never thought so many people would be so interested in my writing...and my life. Your letters are overwhelming and so is your support xo.

 

I promise I will be adding my older postings soon. I've been reassured by my web guy (Steve Dodd - Capital Computing ;)) that the previous posts will all be transferred from the old server within the week.

 

Since everyone and their mothers are asking about the Detective. I will tell you.

 

As you know I'm a huge fan of "Happily ever after".  But the truth is, I met DD. Fell for him. Things were amazing. Things were fast. Shit went wrong. He had Issues (notice the capital "I"). So rather than take you on the roller coaster of the ups and downs, ins and outs. I'm going to tell you how the story ends: We broke up.


If we were still together I would not have dated a PSW who tried to give me a hickey on the first date.  A ginger, tree hugging, unemployed hipster who has never left Ottawa. A doctor who wouldn't stop talking about his ex or a six foot six plumber who hugged me hello with an "accidental" hard-on in the first twenty seconds of greeting me at my door.

 

I would not have dated a firefighter who threw up sashimi and still tried to make out with me, two separate guys who put me on the phone with their kids, a 26 year old tattooed bartender who had a permanent erection, or a terrorist looking prison guard who was in his third year of anger management.

 

I would not have dated a farm boy who picked his nose and then tried to hold my hand, a waiter who picked out our wedding song and made it my ring tone on his iPhone. And I certainly wouldn't have dated a Warsies nerd who cracked open his Yoda piggy bank to pay for our date in loonies.

 

So the story of DD did not end with us riding off into the sunset on horseback, but it did end. The best part? I did not end. I keep going. DD wasn't the Happily Ever After to my story. He wasn't even close. He was just a short chapter in it, and I still hold the power to decide what and who comes next. There is strength in knowing that although my heart hurts, it will recover like it always does, like it always has and always will. That's the ironic thing about a heartbreak. It doesn't kill you, no matter how much you think it's going to. No matter how much you think "I can't survive another break up," amazingly you always come out of it stronger. Maybe you've learned a lesson you didn't think you needed to learn. Maybe you discovered something about yourself and you'll be a better partner and a better person because of it. Maybe you just proved to yourself that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

 

I was fooling myself. I was wanting so bad for DD to change and to get the help he needed. I was his therapist, his nurse, his nanny, his helper, his babysitter and his punching bag. I was a dreamer and I cannot imagine ever again staying with a man...compromising all my wants and needs...just because I want my happy ending.  To me, if I'm not happy, it isn't the end.

 

My heart, my faith and my soul go on...

 

and my story continues...

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